So my last entry was in February when I was on my first OCR race high. Here we are 5 months later and I am heavier than ever. I weighed in at 184.3 this morning on the scale!! I always seem to have an excuse to put off getting off my ass; "I'll do it tomorrow when I'm not so tired.", "I deserve to take it easy. I work really hard.", "I need to start at the beginning of the week/month.", "I ate like crap today. Working out isn't going to accomplish anything.".
My goal with this blog is to be brutally honest and not hide behind the excuses that a lot of us do. I know the second I say or think an excuse that it is an excuse and that I should get my ass up and do SOMETHING but I don't. Then I see myself in the mirror. I am disgusted with myself. I silently chew myself out for being such a lazy loser and tell myself I know better.
The side effects of my weight resonate throughout my entire life. I don't feel sexy or attractive so I don't want to be intimate with my husband. I hate the way I look in ANY clothes I wear so I really don't like going out anymore, anywhere (unless its a dark theater). I am not active so I tend to stay at rest and be the most comfortable when I am at rest. When I do move everything aches, hurts or feels like there is too much pressure on it ,which there is because 184lbs is a lot of weight.
I am constantly waiting for the "perfect" time and conditions in which to start this new life of mine. That is another set of excuses; "I need workout clothes.", "I need this/that equipment.".
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! No more waiting. No more putting it off. Also no more pressure on myself. My goal is not to complete any specific program or stick to any specific schedule. My goal is simply to move. Everyday. Go for a walk. Go for a bike ride. Complete a workout video. Do some yoga. I will not pressure myself to be perfect. I just want myself to start already!
I will have a meal planner but that benefits not only me but my family as well. It is easier to set and stick to a budget if you know what you will be eating ahead of time. My main problem I have noticed is that I still snack when I am bored. When I smoked I would just go out and smoke when I was bored. Now food is my crutch. Another habit I have to break.
So for now it just about not staying still. And that is good enough.
Saturday, July 2, 2016
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
New Adventures
On February 6, 2016 I completed my first 5k obstacle course!!
I am so incredibly proud of myself for actually doing it and not
backing out like I would have in the past.
I had a wonderful group of girls by my side and I do believe that without their support I would have found a reason to not complete it. Julia Schroyer-Sims, Shannon Schroyer-Sims, Andrea Sralik and Carrie Bunch helped make up out team that we called The Cunning Puffalumps!!
I won't lie it was hard and I walked more than I ran but I completed it and
that is what matters to me right now. Some people have referred to this
particular course as a "fluffy" obstacle course and I will admit that it is not a course that is going to push anyone to their limits...BUT I also believe that if the first OCR (obstacle course race) I had done had been so hard that I wanted I wasn't able to enjoy that event I probably would not be doing another one. I am "insanely" proud of acquiring my first medal and I plan on getting a tattoo on my forearm of the date of each OCR that I complete.
I wish more people would be willing to join a team with me and step out of their comfort zones and try something new and challenging. My darling husband did agree to do my next one with me which is the Mud Run on March 12th! I am REALLY hoping that some of my friends will join us in this adventure and get muddy with us!!
I am so incredibly proud of myself for actually doing it and not
backing out like I would have in the past.
I won't lie it was hard and I walked more than I ran but I completed it and
that is what matters to me right now. Some people have referred to this
particular course as a "fluffy" obstacle course and I will admit that it is not a course that is going to push anyone to their limits...BUT I also believe that if the first OCR (obstacle course race) I had done had been so hard that I wanted I wasn't able to enjoy that event I probably would not be doing another one. I am "insanely" proud of acquiring my first medal and I plan on getting a tattoo on my forearm of the date of each OCR that I complete.
I wish more people would be willing to join a team with me and step out of their comfort zones and try something new and challenging. My darling husband did agree to do my next one with me which is the Mud Run on March 12th! I am REALLY hoping that some of my friends will join us in this adventure and get muddy with us!!
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
A Little Bit of History
This is not a fairytale. I don't know if the ending will be happy. This is not a story of incredible achievement. I may very well fail massively. What this is, is a story about someone who is overweight, out of shape, drank to much, smoked to much and lived a VERY stagnant life.
I had spent 40 years on this planet when I decided to quit smoking. I had smoked for 30 of those 40 years. In the last 2 years I drank at least one bottle of wine a day and smoked between 1-2 packs a day, sometimes 3 packs if I was out partying with friends. When I wasn't at work I was drinking and smoking or sleeping. I rarely did anything else. My life revolved around going to the bar and hanging out with my friends.
I have wanted to quit smoking for years. When I would fail I would just say, "I guess I'm not ready". God how childish and selfish that sounds to me now. The only reason that I "enjoyed" smoking was because of the relief it gave from the cravings that smoking caused in the first place. So what finally gave me the strength to quit? I did...well that and Allen Carr's book Easy Way to Stop Smoking. I did not use any nicotine replacement therapy such as gum or patches or vaping and I never even considered using Chantix or any other medication. On June 1, 2015 I crushed my last cigarette out at 10pm. I have never touched another cigarette since. I never "craved" a cigarette after that. Did I think about smoking? OF COURSE I DID!!! I had been a smoker for 30 years! But I did not crave them. I found that it was more of thinking to myself, "Right now I would be smoking".
I am now 7 months smoke free and I love every deep breath of it! Was it easy? No! It took me putting my health, length of life and family above my own need for self gratification and THAT is where most people fail. They need that instant relief that smoking will give them and nothing is more important than that relief. People have to truly grow up when they quit. It takes someone who has the discipline to say no to themselves no matter what happens. Giving in when times get tough and smoking is not a good excuse. Smoking does not make any situation easier. It can however serve as a distraction from a situation or emotions. I choose now to feel everything. I do not dull my life with drugs of any kind, be it nicotine or alcohol.
I did a video journal of my quit on YouTube. If you watch the videos you can see the changes in my appearance. www.YouTube.com/c/darlinjo33
More later. Until then stay strong, plan it out and ask for help.
xoxo- Jo
I had spent 40 years on this planet when I decided to quit smoking. I had smoked for 30 of those 40 years. In the last 2 years I drank at least one bottle of wine a day and smoked between 1-2 packs a day, sometimes 3 packs if I was out partying with friends. When I wasn't at work I was drinking and smoking or sleeping. I rarely did anything else. My life revolved around going to the bar and hanging out with my friends.
I have wanted to quit smoking for years. When I would fail I would just say, "I guess I'm not ready". God how childish and selfish that sounds to me now. The only reason that I "enjoyed" smoking was because of the relief it gave from the cravings that smoking caused in the first place. So what finally gave me the strength to quit? I did...well that and Allen Carr's book Easy Way to Stop Smoking. I did not use any nicotine replacement therapy such as gum or patches or vaping and I never even considered using Chantix or any other medication. On June 1, 2015 I crushed my last cigarette out at 10pm. I have never touched another cigarette since. I never "craved" a cigarette after that. Did I think about smoking? OF COURSE I DID!!! I had been a smoker for 30 years! But I did not crave them. I found that it was more of thinking to myself, "Right now I would be smoking".
I am now 7 months smoke free and I love every deep breath of it! Was it easy? No! It took me putting my health, length of life and family above my own need for self gratification and THAT is where most people fail. They need that instant relief that smoking will give them and nothing is more important than that relief. People have to truly grow up when they quit. It takes someone who has the discipline to say no to themselves no matter what happens. Giving in when times get tough and smoking is not a good excuse. Smoking does not make any situation easier. It can however serve as a distraction from a situation or emotions. I choose now to feel everything. I do not dull my life with drugs of any kind, be it nicotine or alcohol.
I did a video journal of my quit on YouTube. If you watch the videos you can see the changes in my appearance. www.YouTube.com/c/darlinjo33
More later. Until then stay strong, plan it out and ask for help.
xoxo- Jo
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